Heart Journey

 This has been one of the most difficult parts of having OHS.  I don’t like down time.  I’m not a fan of taking it easy.  I’m learning real fast though that I need to slow down.   My heart feels so good though.  I feel healthier now than I have in years.  I know I’m doing more than I should.  I’m learning my body has the final say.  I can get all cocky and think I’m ready to do more but my body will always bring me harshly back to reality.   The last few days it has reminded me fiercely and painfully that it is in charge and will heal at its own pace.I don’t have to like it but I also know this healing journey could be a lot longer if I don’t listen to my body.

 As I shifted in my sleep, I heard a quiet but very distinct crack.  Oh Lordy!  My sternum cracked.  What if it opens up?  What if I start bleeding internally?  If I just lay very still everything will be okay. This happened before back in 1986 after my first valve surgery.  I heard and felt a crack.  I didn’t move for hours.  Finally my grandma Wava had enough.  She asked me what was wrong and why I refused to move.  I admitted my fear and her no nonsense response was something along the lines of if my sternum cracked open I would be bleeding and would be in a lot of pain and probably dead. Loved her no nonsense answers. So last night I lay really still.  At about the same time I had decided to risk moving and to quit being a baby, Oscar the basset stretched and his leg cracked.  Ah!  It wasn’t me.  Thank goodness for that!

 I had such wonderful nurses while I was at St. Mary’s Hospital in Rochester.  I love how you realize what a small world it is. My first nurse when I was in ICU, I knew!  Won’t say her name here but, my mom taught her in second grade.  When she was a senior and big into dance and volleyball, I was her families pet sitter when they would go to competitions and tournaments.  I have to admit this helped coming out of surgery and settling into ICU.  That first night is pretty brutal.  You know something is different and wrong but you’re still pretty doped up so it’s scary and confusing.  It helped to know my nurse. My second or third or...nurse was a funny one.  Pretty much was like a small fairy that flit around at top nurse speed.  She always said, “my friend” when referring to me.  Drove Grif nuts.  It just made me giggle.  She was one of the happiest nurses I think I’ve ever met.  I imagine a difficult thing to be, in...