Surgery with a fractured family

My family is slightly fractured.  Won’t go into why here out of respect to my kids.  But let’s just say my kids all three have a very strained relationship with each other.  All families are different and I respect that this is my family now.  It may change one day or it might not.  It isn’t in my control.  All I can do is just love all three of them and respect that time is needed for them to want to be in each other’s lives.

The time the fracture hurts the most is during holidays and at times of trauma and life changes such as illness and surgery.

I want to demand my children all come to Christmas.  I want to tell them they are selfish and not being fair to dad and I.  I want to throw the “I could die!” card on the table.  But my extraordinary children are not kids anymore.  They are adults who can make their own decisions and for two of them, their journey must be in their own time.  I need to fully respect that.

I know that I will see all three before surgery and that’s what matters, not that it’s all together like a Rockefeller painting.

This is just another lesson in concentrating my energy on what I can control instead of wasting precious time on what I can’t.