Nightmares

 I was pondering what the worst part of having OHS…besides the obvious of the fear of dying was.  At first I thought it was the removing of all the tubes and wires.  To give one an idea…they snip the stitches, tell you to take a deep breath and yank them out.  Brutal but quick.  Plus, it’s way easier walking the four times a day without tubes and wires hanging from one’s chest.

No, the absolute worst is the nightmares.  Getting put under with anesthesia has a nasty side effect or can have…nightmares.

For some reason for me at least, these nightmares don’t hit right away.  Usually they lay and wait until I get comfortable at home.  These are not simple run of the mill nightmares.  They are horrendous.  They are mind and heart wrenching.

I swore after last surgery and the nightmares that followed that I would NEVER have surgery again.  I would rather die.

Well, here I am getting ready to go through it again.  I really hope a different cocktail of anesthesia is used.  Did you know there are many combinations of drugs that are used for anesthesia?  It all depends on who the anesthesiologist is and what the patient can tolerate.

Don’t feel like traumatizing everyone with last time’s nightmares but in all of them children were violated or died brutally and although I was present in the dream, I could do nothing to help.  Horrible!

The nightmares only last about a week…a very long week but ultimately, I know I can take it.