Welcome!

Welcome to my blog.  This blog is for me to write about my upcoming 5th open heart surgery in January.  Please be prepared, sometimes this blog will be raw and will talk about uncomfortable things like death.  Hopefully many times it will be funny and informative.
Enjoy!😊


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Bucket Lists

 I love bucket lists!  I highly recommend everyone doing them.  Keep them and revise them as you get older or if you actually get to cross stuff off because you did them. What no one tells you though is to start doing the items on them long before you actually need a bucket list because then it’s too late.  I am finding that out.  It is both depressing and humbling at the same time.  Somethings I had on my bucket list that I made many years ago are now out of reach due to time and my current health.  Here are a few of my top ones. 1. Swim free style (no cage) with a Great White. 2.  Cage Diving with a Great White…because really what tourist outfit is going to let you do it without a cage for protection. 3.  Visit India 4.  Visit Africa, go on a Safari and see where Nelson Mandela lived and was in prison. 5.  Try mountain climbing. These are only 5 on a long list.  I can do zero of them before surgery in January.  I did bri...
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Headed to the OR

Wow what a ride that was!  Wish I could say I remembered it.  Wish I could tell all my curious friends that I went into the light and passed over for a quick peek....and remembered what I saw. This was not to be the case though.  I do feel in my 6 surgeries and other procedures that I probably have passed over for a quick peek.  How would I know this?  When I think of it, a very gentle but firm peace settles in me and I see beauty, so much beauty.    Don’t remember this time though.  Here for your enjoyment is what I do remember. They wanted to give me some meds to relax before I got to OR.  It worked pretty darn fast.  I remember telling Grif I loved him and that if I die to please find love again.  Then I was out! Next thing I remember I was prepped completely and the anesthesiologists was talking to me.  She had the most beautiful accent (Russian).  So I proceeded to tell the whole room of surgeons and other doctors abo...
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Moving Forward

 Today was a hard day.  I drove to Sioux Falls to finish up Christmas shopping but by the time I got there, I just felt overwhelmed and extremely tired.  I got my Peppermint White Mocha from Starbucks (never too tired for that) and headed back home.   Last week we put our beloved red Heeler (Tucker) to sleep.  He was becoming aggressive with people, even biting a lady.  So we had to put him to sleep. Today I got the call that his ashes were in.  I drove to Dells and picked them up fighting tears.  I quickly left the vet and started bawling.  Sometimes it’s just too much.   When I got home I cradled Tuckers ashes, wiped my tears and nose and decided I no longer wanted to be awake.  I just lay down, feeling sorry for myself when my phone rang.  My sister Jess was calling to remind me of the wrestling meet in Hartford.  I didn’t have to go.  A part of me didn’t want to go.  I just wanted to go to sleep. Then I heard...
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